October 3, 1998
I am finally in a safe place to write. This morning I was ripped from the comfort of my bed by my elder sister, tears streaming down her blackened cheeks. She told me that my parents had been slain, and that the village was under attack. I heard heavy footsteps outside our hut, as if people were marching in unison, weighed down by their armor. I stood, motionless, my heart pounding in my ears. Is this really happening? I thought to myself. My sister shook me violently, trying to snap me out of my shocked state. “Do you hear me? Run!” She yanked my arm and pushed me out the door with all her might.
A sweet, burning scent filled my lungs as I stumbled onto the dirt. I knew what that was; bitter vomit poured from my mouth. I looked up in alarm as I heard wild screams, beads of sweat dripping from the side of my head. Men hollered left and right, giving orders to burn down huts, seize village men and kill women and children. I looked back at my sister, who was racing around in our room, gathering what armor and weapons she had hidden underneath the bed and on the walls.
The chaos became a blur around me. Every gut wrenching scream was drowned out by the erratic beat of my heart. The piercing clamor of weaponry dissipated. Bodies lay in groups outside of every hut, their faces frozen in screams, and yet i couldn’t register the reality of what I was seeing. They were corpses without a backstory. I was in shock, and therefore disconnected from my brethren who surrounded me.
Without hesitation, I dashed for the woods to my left. Smoke filled the sky as I weaved between burning huts, the heat of the flames caressing my delicate skin. I ran with everything in me, my legs pumping onto the dirt steadily, even though I felt them tremble every time I raised them up. More men and women fell before me, and I leapt and stumbled over their bodies as I desperately tried to reach my destination. They were like logs to me. Why is this happening? My thoughts screamed at me. I’m scared.
I think I just heard something.
October 23, 1998
I’ve been in the forest for 20 days now, and I don’t know where I’m going. My parents had never instructed me on how to survive in a place like this. They did teach me how to hunt, however, so finding food has never been a problem. It’s just been hard to eat lately, considering that my village is most likely ash. I’m alone with my thoughts at all waking hours of the day, and I often wonder if I made the right decision to flee. Did I leave my sister behind to die? My heart aches at the thought.
My body is constantly under stress, and I’m finding it difficult to provide it with the nutrients it needs. My day generally plays out like this: I’ll first find an inconspicuous place to set up camp, then I’ll travel on ahead. The more area I can cover, the better. If I get to know my forest, then it should treat me well. Right? I scale trees to look farther on ahead, seeing if there are any bodies of water nearby. The easiest source of food is fish, and yet after I cook it over the fire, I can barely stomach it. I’m growing weaker by the minute.
I don’t feel like writing much. Not being able to eat makes me very tired. It’s a struggle but I trust that I can do it. It’s life or death.
February 18th, 1999
So much has happened in the last few months. I can’t believe I’m still alive. No one is going to believe me.
After a few weeks of trekking through the forest and mapping out the surrounding area, I came across a very mysterious lake. Occasionally, some brave man or woman would make their way through these areas to hunt big game. Sometimes they might even train for potential combat, returning with stories of things they encountered. I’ve heard countless stories; from giant wild boars fighting to death, shaking the trees around them, to spirits whispering evil things throughout the night. Out of all the bizarre tales that were told, nothing could have come close to what I encountered.
It was nearing evening as I hacked away at large brush and hanging mosses. The air was humid and heavy, making it difficult to breathe and stay on my feet. I kept having to force myself to drink. I knew that I had lost the desire to give my body what it needed. I was still in shock at having to make it through the forest alone, unsure of whether I would see my people again.
Eventually, I arrived at a still lake, which I stopped to rest at. My legs were boney and shaking from exhaustion. The water was clear and cool, and I could see my reflection very clearly. We stared at one another in silence. I knelt in the cool dirt near that lake, and many hours had passed. The sun had set, and small nocturnal creatures sprung from underneath the tall grasses and ferns. Life was abundant and buzzed, howled and chirped all around me.
At one point, I began to hear what sounded like a rattling. I was unsure of the direction, and my heart rate spiked with alarm. My body was telling me to flee. Suddenly, a three-headed snake slithered across from me on the other side of the mysterious blue lake. Mist circled around its elongated body, and the three heads stared intently at me, their black tongues forking from their mouths. The head to the right opened its mouth, revealing its long, pointed fangs, and from a small hole in the back of its mouth, it shot out a black sludge. The sludge plunged into the still water, and it immediately changed the crystal blue color to black. You left your family behind. A voice hissed in my head. You’re a coward.
I knelt there, motionless and unblinking. Suddenly the sun rose. Where had the time gone? The left head on the snake began to move next, and it turned its entire body so that I could peer into its ruby red eye. We stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, the black water began to bubble and the snake plunged into it, disappearing beneath.
Many hours had passed once again, and I could feel my energy depleting more and more. Eventually my body stopped shaking, and I slouched further and further downwards, the dirt waiting to engulf me. Eventually I lay on my side next to the lake, which was still as dark as night. Morning turned to afternoon, then afternoon to night. Another creature emerged from the confines of the woods. With every step it took, the earth beneath me rumbled angrily. After stomping its way towards the water, it dipped its head down and began to lap up the toxic liquid. It had two extremely long horns that stretched on either side of its blocky head. After lapping up the black water for a few minutes, it looked up at me with a single, deep brown eye. The other was completely shut, a large scar stretching over it.
The beast stared at me, and I stared at it. Through its eyes, I saw myself. I was angry at the enemy for destroying the peace that my village offered me. I was angry at myself for fleeing, and angry at the snake for destroying the gentle blue water hidden in the warmth of the forest. I hoisted myself off the dirt, accidentally knocking some in my mouth. It tasted much like the boiled mushrooms my sister used to make for me when I was just a child. I stepped into the water, allowing the blackness to engulf me. My body was torn apart. Fear, anger, doubt and selfishness pulled at my innards. I released a guttural scream, water filling my lungs. It happened in an instant. Then… everything became cold, silent.
The last thing I remember was waking next to the lake. Alone and scared, I got myself together and made my way back to the camp. My journey still continues, and I still haven’t found a way to escape this forest. But mark my words, I will survive, and I will find my way back to my people, wherever they may be.
